Dear Amina….

He held the steel with the strongest of his grip hoping that someday the guard shall bring him the words of his freedom. He lay there in the dark, besides the crowd of broken hopes, under the roof of silent sighs. Every night as he closed his eyes the nostalgia of the past lives through his mind. He reminds himself everyday the promises he had to keep & hopes to find waiting arms as he walks towards the dawn of freedom.

Dear Amina,

Life is so strange, today when I picked up a pen to write to you I had a grim image of your being, it makes me wonder have I been gone for too long or have you stayed away for longer? Anyways, I hope you’re fine & mom dad are also doing good. Have the children forgotten their father? Do they ask for me ever? How much taller have they grown? Aaru must be 10 already. Gosh ! I miss you all.

Amina, they say I may be released soon, after all they also understand that I am innocent however I still have a sinking feeling, because they have been saying this from the past 7 years. I tried my best to still be your Prince Charming, but the dusty walls of their jail paints my face too old with every passing day. I still survive on the aroma of your kitchen, seeped within my senses & every time I bite into a pebble in the food here I remember the laughs over our dinning table. It’s hard to live here Amina, sometimes I think of ending it up for me but then I hope to see Aaru & you all . 

The floor is too cold here but I somehow manage, somehow run my mind towards the warmth of the morning blanket that you used to put for me. I hope my Aaru knows that her dad isn’t a criminal. I hope she knows that I have her in my heart & hug her  2×3 sized picture every night before I sleep. I hope she goes to school everyday & honestly I can’t wait to hear rhymes from her mouth. 

The lines for washing of clothes are just too long so ask mum to stop weaving a sweater for me. It’s hard to wash it here. Ask Abba if he still believes in his son? My heart still skips a beat when I think that, What if they also think I am guilty. Tell them I ain’t. Does Abba still pray for me with his every sujood? Does he sometimes look down the alley searching for me when the evening knocks in the valley?  Does Mouji still wait for me over dinner? Does she still go to Mamu s place to talk about me? 

Take care of yourself. I have to go, the Hawaldar is here to switch off the lights & they broke my leg  the last time I didn’t follow the rules. Believe me the other day in the court I could sense that the judge was convinced that I was innocent, but then strangely truth had no value & evidence of truth is fabricated to make it a lie. I still have faith in him, he seems like a nice guy.


With hope & love,

Shakeel

Barrack 4, Tihar Jail,

New Delhi

19/06/2017

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