Dear Anamika….

He glared silently at the thoughtful face, chasing every frowned faded line of sigh. He stared at her face just a glance which became a memory forever. The silence between the eyes echoed in the thin air, deafening the noise of the world. He knew something had happened.

She just forced her eyes staring away as she tried to not show the obvious worry n her face.He just knew, “SHE FELT GUILTY”. He knew he was her guilt, so he just forced his feet to walk away never to fall in love again.

Dear Anamika,

 “Before God, we are all equally wise, and equally foolish”

Sometimes in life there comes a time when you can’t stand tall & look in the eyes of the one you love & ask her what had happened, as you clearly know the reason behind the irony.

It makes me wonder was our abstract love  right or was the tradition? Sometimes I ask myself can Lord be so dividing that he made me a son of a Dalit & you a daughter of a Brahmin. You know, Baba always used to tell me all these castes & creed are more of a hoax & we all are equal, I’ll go to him & ask him, why did he lie to me all my life?  Why didn’t he tell me that I don’t have the right to decide whom to love & peacefully spend my days with. You know they say I can’t even enter a temple, I guess if they are right then even God doesn’t want to be by my side , then how can I blame you, you’re just a human. 

They forget Nandanar who was rejected by the priests but accepted by the god. They forget “chokhamela”, the Dalit poet who made the world fall in love with his poetic verses. They overlook the “Raidas” Aka Ravidass whose teachings are a part of the holy “Guru Granth Sahib”. They look upto BR Ambedkar & The Mahatma Gandhi but never  believe  their enemity against casteism. I wish I could show them we are also humans &I we are just same like them.

The panchayat  has decided that I should leave the village, despite trying my best I couldn’t make it upto them. I hope you ll remember me in your best stories & read me in your poems.

I am sorry Anamika you have to feel ashamed of me, I am sorry that my caste makes you believe that you’re guilty of accepting someone who is rejected by the world. I am sorry for being born in a house which didn’t have a right to love or live. 

I can’t explain to you how does it feel when you know that you’re a mistake of someone’s life even if they are your wish come true. I’ll ask that Lord someday why did he make such a divide that every heart has to think before falling in love & every mind has to suffer while parting away. I’ll ask him let him decide whose Lord is he?  If theirs then which is my Lord & if mine whose theirs?

Goodbye. I hope who shall always be a proud Brahmin & I’ll always be a silent Dalit.


With love,

Arun Bhogta,

Rohtas, Bihar,

India

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