Dear Kim Shui….

“He stood there every cold evening , waiting to be looked upon by the eyes which once searched for him. He gazed at the foggy window panes to catch a glimpse of that shadow. The world went past him speeding away from the snow, he stood there waiting for the spring to come back again.”

Dear Kim Shui,

17/12/1978

konnichiwa!!! I hope you are well. It took me months to gather my words together & put them on this piece of paper. It seems as if the sky overhead seems like a small canvas to tell you all I have in me. I know you must be busy thinking am I fine or not, I feel you shall be glad to find my letter.

It’s cold here, the crimson sunsets have started to rust the clouds & every night I hear the clouds rumbling in rage. I hope you must have by now learnt to fight your fear of thundering, I guess you must be a brave girl by now. I went to the kamzi street again, I sat on that bench a drew you on every sight of my imagination. I feel better now. Somehow it calms my mind. OYAJI seems tensed for me these days but I am trying my best to make him understand that I am fine. 
Do you remember the brown painted kitchen window of your house where I caught a glimpse of you the first time? Haha , I still remember the flour all over your nose. Do you still hold that daffodil close to you which I gave you the first day we went for dinner, & that restaurant on the Osaka street? it still serves the best rice cakes in town. The movies at winchans? Our crazy laughs at the “Ken Shimara’s “show, the yellow umbrella, the latte’s at the box cafe? I hope you remember the joy we lived.

I remember everything Shui, all I can’t remember is saying goodbye. I know I just couldn’t say that to you & everyday of my life I have thought of that moment seeking refuge under the flakes of falling snow. I feel alone here Shui, the wait doesn’t seem to end. I don’t like rice cakes anymore, I don’t remember when was the last time I ran in the snow, matching footprints like we used to do. I feel tired walking and always keep my hands uptight hoping that you’ll hold it Someday. I calm my demons thinking of you in my days of despair, the elegance of that calm face strikes a solace within me. I feel content yet incomplete, I feel hopeful yet doomed. The awe of your being holds me intact but somewhere I still feel fragile & broken. I stop by the lake everyday trying to run away from the echoes in my head, but every night I go to bed with a thousand words screaming in me. Why Shui? Why? I still dial to you to hear you on your machine, countless messages no reply.

 Shui, you had promised that this spring shall be ours & we shall bask under the sun holding the warmth of togetherness seeping in our souls. It’s still months till spring and years till I see you again.

I miss you Shui. Come back ..!! I still wait for you..
Deliver to ,

Kim Shui

Nagasaki Graveyard,

106, Street 5,

Japan

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s