Dear People…

All I wanted to ever say is right here. All you need to do is think hard & understand.

Drop me to the train which leaves this city, Drive me to the darkest woods & snub the city lights. Who shall it be, who judges the soul of mine, I propose to be an advocate of my being. Lest do I hold close the Crimson dawns of the forgotten sky, I yet ponder on the drowning eyes of the sun. Look within me yet again, I still hold the fury of a million storms.

Under the creek buried beneath the snow, I sung for the autumn to fall, I am the cold of the frosts, i pluck the first flowers of the dawning springs. Close the panes, the light is trapped within my soul, as I yearn endlessly till eternity. I have fed on the silence of chaos, shall I not break bread with the noise of being.

Guide me home today, they say I have walked these terrains astray, call me holy & praise me well, the saints say I have sinned enough. Dawn upon me the silks of the west, the robes of satin seem to make me god. I live within the falling stars, Shall I be the only one who makes them fall. Hold your city lights , I love to walk in the lamps. All I yet seek to fetch upon, the fallen pieces of the broken hearts.

With love,

A Astray Man

Somewhere on earth


Dear Mrs Shah,

“Beyond the crimson horizon of dying sun, he couldn’t find the calm of the evenings. The world may echo his words in laughs , he lay silently besides the echoes of his thoughts. How far has he come? The word of calm seemed longed enough, the words never wrote itself with a pen. Was he fading away from the calls of his destined truth , soaring towards the epitome of dying lies. In the path of forgetting her , he lost his way home.”

Dear Mrs Shah,

How are you? It seems quite weird that I haven’t asked you from a while, how is your health? Never asked you, did the pain in your knee vanish ? Did the medicines help? It’s so ironical that you know everything that is happening in my life , even the watch on my side table which I always forget. Running after me for that morning breakfast that I keep on skipping. I hardly remember when did I last asked you , did u have your breakfast ?

Sometimes it makes me think, just because one person left my side, just because one relation chose to find it’s joy in the world , I just started doubting every bond which I ever had. I crept silently within the dark corners hiding in me. I had just forgotten how irrelevant all those lies were. I chose to shut the doors to every emotion which made me fragile, not understanding that your being was the only thing that could hold me together.

I don’t remember when was the last time I sat and heard you well. I have no idea how long has it been since I asked you how was I looking ? I forgot to notice the smile on your face just to make me laugh a little. When was the last time I told you that you’re the prettiest? I don’t even know which song do you like to listen & how much do you miss hearing my weird words? I just forgot it all.

As people chose their family I just forgot to find mine.

It’s already 2:30 in the morning as I write to you & the only thing that crosses my mind is how can be such a ungrateful hypocrite. As I was drowning in my own memories , you were teaching me how to swim. As I lay shut to the world , you were bringing the world to me.

In the world of Romeo & Juliet’s , I forgot about Mary. Forgive me !

Let me listen to you again, let me tell you all my tales. Let me tell you that you’re the prettiest lady I shall ever see & let me sing with you the song you love the most. Let me live with you a little, because all that I know is you are the truth in this world of lies.

No Juliet can be what this Mary is!

Thank you for being there. Indeed you are life.

I love you Maa. Forgive me!

With Love,

Your Son,

Three Rays Villa,


Dear Andrew….

“They stood up from the noisy chair which eased their tormented minds in times of loneliness & hugged him close near the rusty gate of the front lawn, just to embrace the the warmth of their parting son. They searched for each other with cold shivering hands to find strength as they heard the dying footsteps slowly fading away. For the first time in their lives they felt the helplessness. It was the first time they felt the pain of being blind”
Dear Andrew,

We hope that you must have reached safely. Your Aunt Suz had dropped early this morning. She said that the train stations were jam packed this holiday season. We felt a bit worried. 

David took me to town today, your mum wanted to make some cheese cake this thanksgiving. I tried looking for a turkey , but I guess these days turkeys are born with diamond legs, so we bargained for a loaf. 

Son, it was really hard for me to say goodbye to you. I sat on that porch all day long trying to hear the sound of your ford, but I guess I was being too kiddish. Your mum was singing all day as if she was so happy today, but my son I realized all the songs she was humming were your favourites. She misses you a lot!

Every night we hold our hands & pray for your wellbeing as we sit for dinner, but sometimes I just become a little selfish & pray for your mum as well. She has never asked for anything except your well being. I sometimes feel her tears in the silence of setting evening & I always try to reach for her eyes to wipe them off. Indeed she is clever & knows how to wipe them before I reach there. 

My son, sometimes I want to take a walk through our garden & smell the roses that bloom every spring, I wish to walk through the fields of barley & run my fingers on the buds , sometimes I feel like sitting on the quiet porch & ask you was I a good father? But every time I feel like doing any of this, my stick reminds me that I have darkness in my eyes & noone to guide me back home. 

Be happy my son , with every passing day we pray for your well being. Give you children everything that I couldn’t give you & play with them. Tell them stories, hold them close, feed them properly & love them enough. Tell them who I was & who your mum was, I wish they remember us sometimes & I wish we could see them ever. 

I wish we wouldn’t have lost our eyes in that fatal accident. We regret not to be able to see how our boy looks now. I have imagined you in shadows, but I hope you shall always remember our wrinkled faces. You maybe away from us but we think of you all day long. I hope you also think of us sometimes.  Time just flies away, I sit remember you pushing off on that bicycle which I got you on your seventh birthday. The childhood birthday stuffed bears still smell of you, your orange baseball cap still lightens my eyes. Uncle Sam asks for you when he drops by with his ice cream cart, the truffles still tastes the same. 

I apologise that this time we couldn’t show you around the town. I guess I have forgotten the roads somehow but I hope to see you soon. 

We take good care of ourselves so don’t worry about us. But still try to write us back, we wait for your letters every Monday as David comes this way just on Mondays . He is a good lad he reads your letters for us. I always wanted to do so much more for you my son & we try our best  but unfortunately we are old & blind, so I hope you shall never hold a grudge against us.

Lots of love,

Roger Mathew

15/F Oakwood hills,


Shanti Villa, Lane 3, New Friends Colony,New Delhi

She looked upon the all the beautiful smiles well preserved within the 8×10 frames of her wedding album. She flicked each page to bask under the tale of her smiling memories trying to ignore the long telephone rings from home.

“Wasn’t I so damn pretty, “ echoed her mind as she looked up to feel the marks on her face. Her eyes too swelled to paint a picture of the days when she was promised a world of joy under the shades of dusted golden autumn leaves. Leaving her home felt like a beginning of a new life, unknown to the darkness of the person she tried to find her home in. 


Shanti Villa,

Lane 3,

New Friends Colony,

New Delhi


My love to everyone. You all must be wondering where did I just vanish, no letter , no call. Sorry I was a bit occupied here, after all settling in a foreign land isn’t an easy thing to do. Everyone is fine here & I have already started to adjust well. The sunsets are beautiful & the place is breath taking. I hope all of you are doing great.

I can’t tell you how happy I am here, Saurabh doesn’t let me do anything. He takes care of everything & honestly I feel like a queen who just keeps on ordering. Yesterday Saurabh was telling me that Maasi had called & she was worried. I wonder why was she worried. He told me that my brothers friend had told them that I had marks on my face. Dad tell them I had fallen that’s why I had those marks. Try not to call again, Saurabh doesn’t like it.

I couldn’t be more happier ever, this feels like home. My husband really loves me. Sometimes I pinch myself to realise that it’s not a dream. 

Mom dad I really miss you. Not that I am not happy but I really miss you all. I miss the way dad used to fulfill my every wish & still never made me feel he did something for me. I miss the times when I used to shout on you mum. Please forgive me. I wish I could spend some more time on that balcony with you talking about the world. 

Yesterday while going through our wedding album I couldn’t stop myself from crying when I saw those gallant smiles on everyone’s face in the family picture we clicked. I spend my days looking at those smiles & I forget for a moment that I am in an unknown land. 

My mother in law is so supportive & takes so much care of me but Maa of course  I ain’t the one she gave birth to. I wanted to send you a picture of me & Saurabh but these days he is so much occupied with work that we hardly go out and for me I have developed a strange allergy on my face so I ain’t able to click a picture for you. I am so happy with him Maa.

Saurabh is a great guy, sometimes gets angry but then he settles down in a while & never has a day come when he hasn’t made me feel that I belong to him. 

Maa you would be happy to know I have started praying so much now. Though I have nothing to ask from Lord but then I don’t know why I keep pleading him. I wouldn’t be able to come home this Diwali , He has a meeting in India so all the family from here shall travel to India & I’ll have to stay back to look after the work. But don’t worry I love it here. I’ll be fine. 

I miss you so much mum dad . Try to keep sending me letters, I feel someone still remembers me when I get a letter from home. I have to go, I think Saurabh is here. 

My love to everyone back home. Tell them I miss them all so much.


105, Franks street,


Dear Ellie….

“The wind seemed to arrogantly hit the shivering walls of his shelter under the never ending skies. He sat there with a cup of hot coffee in his hand wrapped under the thick layer of gloves, trying to hold that pen firm enough to pen down the betraying emotions. As he heard the wind bashing to scare, he crept silently under the warmth of calm nostalgia. 
Dear Ellie,

I did it Ellie, I conquered Everest!!

I am writing to you from a camp at 17,598 ft above sea level on the southern side of the Everest. 

Honestly speaking I never thought I’ll find a peacefully noisy corner in this part of the world to in write to you. It’s been ninety one days since I have been away. I keep counting the days as the thought of being away has started to sink in. I hope you are good & still believe that my passion of climbing peaks is what defines me well. 

I can’t put the feeling in words when I saw the world right beneath me & yet that overpowering urge to get back to that world that seemed so chaotic a while back. I realized that sometimes chaos is all that keeps the life worth living. As I saw the sun going down from the highest place in the world, all I could think of, was you. I couldn’t help myself from remembering your pale face as I drove past the dusty road of the ranch. 

Ellie, you were right. I spent my whole life trying to find my way up through the steep unforgiving terrain of a lonely mountain while I kept overlooking every glance of peace from the eyes of the people who meant so much calm to me.

Ellie now I know, “peace is where love is”.

With every step up that gripping Ice, I felt cold & lonely. I felt tired. Every time I Inched a step up I fought with myself to take many steps back. However, probably it was the promises that I had made to myself which made me kept gong. However, this deafening silence which hollows you from within made me wonder how would you have felt in all these years, being around a person who tried to find companionship in the loneliness when the joy of being together was so much peaceful. I can’t wait to get back & walk that aisle putting on my best suit & from there after live my every moment of joy & life with you. Thank you for holding onto me when I couldn’t see the world clearly under the veil of my passion. Thank you for being a thrusting force to push me out of ignorant state of dilemma.

Usually it’s shivering cold here, but last evening as the rays of Crimson sun fell on this majestic mountain, I so wished you could be here. I tried my best capturing it in my Polaroid but Sherpa says by the time I get back home the reel might be exposed. Let’s hope it doesn’t. 

Brijesh (My Sherpa) keeps on telling me tales of the mountain, he says that the mountain is sacred & it’s the mountain which decides the passage for people.  I don’t really believe in it but I can’t even deny it completely.

I am expecting to get back to Texas by 30th July. I have so much to tell you, try to get a couple of days off from work. I guess finally I believe what someone once said,

“Happiness is real , when shared…..

With love ,


Base Camp,

Mount Everest,


29th June 2017

Dear God….

“They walked past the minarets of serenity within the house of Allah, they heard the peaceful sounds of temple bells for Shiva, folded hands while glancing at the Granth Sahib, nudging every wheel with inscripted chants of bliss within the temple of Buddha. Everyone had a different name but none knew the right word of God. Helpless they stopped looking for what can’t be found & found what they always overlooked”

Dear God,

I must admit I feel a bit nervous while writing to you. I have no idea from where should I start & where to put a period. Honestly I don’t know your real name, so I’ll prefer to call you “God”.

There is so much I feel like asking you but I feel scared. I feel worried. Some say if I do things my way I might burn in hell, others tell me that I might be reincarnated in some hideous animal. While some shun me off whenever I ask. So finally I thought of writing to you. Mayb I get a reply someday.

God, I wear a skull cap & in absolute ablution I bow down my head in your grace. Nothing gives me more peace. But when I cross a temple wearing the same cap, they tell me that the scripture says that you live within the form of the idol. I light up a lamp & the sound of that temple bell gives me calm. The moment I hear the carols beneath a cross, I feel alienated because of that mark on my forehead, the priest tells me that the truth of your being lies within the sacrifice of Jesus on that cross. Sometimes a turban stands for my honour & faith. 

I tried chasing away my sorrows by ruining my shivering fingers through the beats of Tasbeeh & Rudraksh. I see people walking barefoot on mountains & bathing in rivers. I see people chanting for you & I also see people crying for you.

God, I don’t know if you know those men or not, who say I am a murderer & I terrorise people because I call you Allah. I also don’t know do you know those who kill millions in a ego to make people believe that your real name is Ram or Allah. God, What is your real name?

I thought you had made me just like any other human being, but you never told me that a Dalit can’t be equal to me. You didn’t even remind me that ripping off people in explosions is a deed. 

Why didn’t you tell me that if I am poor I can’t hold my esteem in the world. God, I thought you were impartial but why didn’t you tell me what you taught all those who teach the same things to the world in your name? 

My mum keeps praying to you all the time still she remains ill, where does all those prayers go, when you ain’t even hearing her out. Why did you promise her that you shall be there when none would be.

Last evening I gave some money to a person who didn’t have a leg, he had torn clothes & a shabby frowned face. His little kid held his hand while he struggled to walk & still he lifted his hands & prayed for me. Even after so many worried he looks upto you, just you. Why god why? Why ain’t you listening to him?

I’ll have to go , mum says it’s time for prayer & she never misses any chance to pray to you. Please listen to her this time. Try to keep my letter only to you, if people see it they might term me as an atheist and lynch me to death. I am a human God, I feel scared in the absence of you.

With love & Hope,

Imran Rakesh Mathew


Dear She…

He scrolled down the texts on his phone to find that one text which soothes his heart. “I wish I could tell you what I feel”, a silent smile conquered his face as he lay on a messy bedsheets reading that line with countless emotions seeping within his heart. He closed his eyes & that heart within the gates of those engrossed feelings from the practicality  which tried to find its space through the crowded thoughts in his mind.


Dear She,

As I stand here near the half faded fence of this terrace, all I can think of is you. I wish I could show you through my eyes how beautiful does the moon look tonight. Though I find no breeze around but does that really matter?

I went through our conversations tonight & I felt so much than just an emotion in my heart. I felt even after saying so much all the time, we end up still being left with with so much more to say.  Well yeah! You were right sometimes we don’t need to have definitions for everything in life, but sometimes I always feel you shall always be that story of my life which I can’t ever complete.

Anyways, You know I finally try to sleep early these days. Somehow I feel calm n even try to sleep with my mouth closed these days. Some days  I ain’t able to reach out to you every once in a while, but I think of you all the time. “She” even my pjs are getting better I guess I am finally Cracking the right jokes. Don’t you dare laugh on it, I actually am!

We all have that one person to whom you feel like saying so much but end up saying nothing at all. Guess my words betray me sometimes when it matters the most, but I am working on it. Just be patient with me if you can. Be there to hear me when I stammer because I know I definetely would stammer someday. Just hear the thoughts as I may not be there always to tell you what you want to hear. Just be patient with me unfortunately I am just a human with thousand imperfections.


A friend in love.

New Delhi,