Dear People…

All I wanted to ever say is right here. All you need to do is think hard & understand.

Drop me to the train which leaves this city, Drive me to the darkest woods & snub the city lights. Who shall it be, who judges the soul of mine, I propose to be an advocate of my being. Lest do I hold close the Crimson dawns of the forgotten sky, I yet ponder on the drowning eyes of the sun. Look within me yet again, I still hold the fury of a million storms.

Under the creek buried beneath the snow, I sung for the autumn to fall, I am the cold of the frosts, i pluck the first flowers of the dawning springs. Close the panes, the light is trapped within my soul, as I yearn endlessly till eternity. I have fed on the silence of chaos, shall I not break bread with the noise of being.

Guide me home today, they say I have walked these terrains astray, call me holy & praise me well, the saints say I have sinned enough. Dawn upon me the silks of the west, the robes of satin seem to make me god. I live within the falling stars, Shall I be the only one who makes them fall. Hold your city lights , I love to walk in the lamps. All I yet seek to fetch upon, the fallen pieces of the broken hearts.

With love,

A Astray Man

Somewhere on earth

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Dear Mrs Shah,

“Beyond the crimson horizon of dying sun, he couldn’t find the calm of the evenings. The world may echo his words in laughs , he lay silently besides the echoes of his thoughts. How far has he come? The word of calm seemed longed enough, the words never wrote itself with a pen. Was he fading away from the calls of his destined truth , soaring towards the epitome of dying lies. In the path of forgetting her , he lost his way home.”

Dear Mrs Shah,

How are you? It seems quite weird that I haven’t asked you from a while, how is your health? Never asked you, did the pain in your knee vanish ? Did the medicines help? It’s so ironical that you know everything that is happening in my life , even the watch on my side table which I always forget. Running after me for that morning breakfast that I keep on skipping. I hardly remember when did I last asked you , did u have your breakfast ?

Sometimes it makes me think, just because one person left my side, just because one relation chose to find it’s joy in the world , I just started doubting every bond which I ever had. I crept silently within the dark corners hiding in me. I had just forgotten how irrelevant all those lies were. I chose to shut the doors to every emotion which made me fragile, not understanding that your being was the only thing that could hold me together.

I don’t remember when was the last time I sat and heard you well. I have no idea how long has it been since I asked you how was I looking ? I forgot to notice the smile on your face just to make me laugh a little. When was the last time I told you that you’re the prettiest? I don’t even know which song do you like to listen & how much do you miss hearing my weird words? I just forgot it all.

As people chose their family I just forgot to find mine.

It’s already 2:30 in the morning as I write to you & the only thing that crosses my mind is how can be such a ungrateful hypocrite. As I was drowning in my own memories , you were teaching me how to swim. As I lay shut to the world , you were bringing the world to me.

In the world of Romeo & Juliet’s , I forgot about Mary. Forgive me !

Let me listen to you again, let me tell you all my tales. Let me tell you that you’re the prettiest lady I shall ever see & let me sing with you the song you love the most. Let me live with you a little, because all that I know is you are the truth in this world of lies.

No Juliet can be what this Mary is!

Thank you for being there. Indeed you are life.

I love you Maa. Forgive me!

With Love,

Your Son,

Three Rays Villa,

Srinagar

Dear God….

“They walked past the minarets of serenity within the house of Allah, they heard the peaceful sounds of temple bells for Shiva, folded hands while glancing at the Granth Sahib, nudging every wheel with inscripted chants of bliss within the temple of Buddha. Everyone had a different name but none knew the right word of God. Helpless they stopped looking for what can’t be found & found what they always overlooked”

Dear God,

I must admit I feel a bit nervous while writing to you. I have no idea from where should I start & where to put a period. Honestly I don’t know your real name, so I’ll prefer to call you “God”.

There is so much I feel like asking you but I feel scared. I feel worried. Some say if I do things my way I might burn in hell, others tell me that I might be reincarnated in some hideous animal. While some shun me off whenever I ask. So finally I thought of writing to you. Mayb I get a reply someday.

God, I wear a skull cap & in absolute ablution I bow down my head in your grace. Nothing gives me more peace. But when I cross a temple wearing the same cap, they tell me that the scripture says that you live within the form of the idol. I light up a lamp & the sound of that temple bell gives me calm. The moment I hear the carols beneath a cross, I feel alienated because of that mark on my forehead, the priest tells me that the truth of your being lies within the sacrifice of Jesus on that cross. Sometimes a turban stands for my honour & faith. 

I tried chasing away my sorrows by ruining my shivering fingers through the beats of Tasbeeh & Rudraksh. I see people walking barefoot on mountains & bathing in rivers. I see people chanting for you & I also see people crying for you.

God, I don’t know if you know those men or not, who say I am a murderer & I terrorise people because I call you Allah. I also don’t know do you know those who kill millions in a ego to make people believe that your real name is Ram or Allah. God, What is your real name?

I thought you had made me just like any other human being, but you never told me that a Dalit can’t be equal to me. You didn’t even remind me that ripping off people in explosions is a deed. 

Why didn’t you tell me that if I am poor I can’t hold my esteem in the world. God, I thought you were impartial but why didn’t you tell me what you taught all those who teach the same things to the world in your name? 

My mum keeps praying to you all the time still she remains ill, where does all those prayers go, when you ain’t even hearing her out. Why did you promise her that you shall be there when none would be.

Last evening I gave some money to a person who didn’t have a leg, he had torn clothes & a shabby frowned face. His little kid held his hand while he struggled to walk & still he lifted his hands & prayed for me. Even after so many worried he looks upto you, just you. Why god why? Why ain’t you listening to him?

I’ll have to go , mum says it’s time for prayer & she never misses any chance to pray to you. Please listen to her this time. Try to keep my letter only to you, if people see it they might term me as an atheist and lynch me to death. I am a human God, I feel scared in the absence of you.

With love & Hope,

Imran Rakesh Mathew

India

Dear She…

He scrolled down the texts on his phone to find that one text which soothes his heart. “I wish I could tell you what I feel”, a silent smile conquered his face as he lay on a messy bedsheets reading that line with countless emotions seeping within his heart. He closed his eyes & that heart within the gates of those engrossed feelings from the practicality  which tried to find its space through the crowded thoughts in his mind.

 

Dear She,

As I stand here near the half faded fence of this terrace, all I can think of is you. I wish I could show you through my eyes how beautiful does the moon look tonight. Though I find no breeze around but does that really matter?

I went through our conversations tonight & I felt so much than just an emotion in my heart. I felt even after saying so much all the time, we end up still being left with with so much more to say.  Well yeah! You were right sometimes we don’t need to have definitions for everything in life, but sometimes I always feel you shall always be that story of my life which I can’t ever complete.

Anyways, You know I finally try to sleep early these days. Somehow I feel calm n even try to sleep with my mouth closed these days. Some days  I ain’t able to reach out to you every once in a while, but I think of you all the time. “She” even my pjs are getting better I guess I am finally Cracking the right jokes. Don’t you dare laugh on it, I actually am!

We all have that one person to whom you feel like saying so much but end up saying nothing at all. Guess my words betray me sometimes when it matters the most, but I am working on it. Just be patient with me if you can. Be there to hear me when I stammer because I know I definetely would stammer someday. Just hear the thoughts as I may not be there always to tell you what you want to hear. Just be patient with me unfortunately I am just a human with thousand imperfections.

Love,

A friend in love.

New Delhi,

India